Animal Diary

From The Files Of
JoLene Daily Humor
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Daily-Humor/>

Ever wonder what your pets really think?

THE DOG'S DIARY

7 am- Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm- Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

 
THE CAT'S DIARY

Day 183 of my captivity...

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may
eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the
top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on
their bed.
 
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt
to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear
into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.
 
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement
was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn
what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks
with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I
can wait.

It's only a matter of time.

-
The JokeMaster Funnies <http://www.JokeMaster.com>
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